CDC Recommends Keeping Distance from DC Films, Even Once Fully Vaccinated
Experts advise that coming into contact with DC films may result in, or more likely from, a severe loss of taste.
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COVID-19 Vaccine Revealed to Cause Mutant X-Gene
Recipients of the vaccine may begin demonstrating unnatural characteristics such as laser eyes, blue fur, or a tendency to believe in science.
Read moreStates Consider Implementing Superhuman Registration Act
Government Mandated Unmasking
Read more2020 Caused by Agatha All Along
Sources confirm that Agatha Harkness is behind a number of social problems and nefarious deeds, including the COVID-19 pandemic and the untimely demise of local dog Sparky.
Read moreMarvelous Movies’ Authoritative Guide to Pleasant Thanksgiving Conversation (2020 Edition)
To avoid offending anyone and have a pleasant time all around, make sure that everyone agrees to avoid these unsafe conversation topics.
Read moreAMC Announces “Realistic” Walking Dead Reboot Inspired by COVID-19
The reboot’s characters will regularly ignore safety protocols and the CDC’s expertise, believing that the zombie threat is just a hoax perpetrated by the liberal media.
Read moreNew Federal Order Requires Mandalorian Helmets Be Worn in Public at All Times
When questioned about the rationale behind this extreme decision, CDC director Robert Redfield simply answered, “This is the way.”
Read moreGalactus, Devourer of Worlds, Turns Down Earth
COVID-19 and pollution save the Earth from utter destruction.
Read more2020 Confirmed to Be Direct Result of Flashpoint
Sources have confirmed that the current events of 2020 are a direct result of the Flash running back in time and inadvertently altering the timeline.
Read moreIn Response to COVID-19, Droves of DC Fans Don Batman Masks
In compliance with the CDC’s guidelines to wear masks, many fans have taken on the mask of the iconic hero Batman to help prevent the spread of germs.
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