Historians Believe Moses Was Actually Batman

Photos: Warner Bros. Studios, Dreamworks Animation, 20th Century Fox

Notable historians suggest that the biblical Moses was actually the caped crusader Batman. The theory originated in the film industry, in which two major portrayals of Moses were by former Batman actors: Val Kilmer in The Prince of Egypt and Christian Bale in Exodus: Gods and Kings.

Biblical scholars and film critics alike have corroborated this theory. Consider the growing body of evidence:

  • Both Batman and Moses were raised in wealth and luxury, but not by their parents.
  • Nobody has ever seen Batman and Moses in the same place at the same time.
  • Batman has been played by Christian Bale, whereas Moses is a major figure in the Christian religion.
  • In the entire Bible, there is no verse or passage which explicitly states that Moses was not Batman.
  • Moses’s wife in The Prince of Egypt was played by Michelle Pfeiffer–a.k.a. Batman’s true love, Catwoman!
  • Moses’s nemesis was Pharaoh, and Batman has a similarly-themed villain called King Tut. (We had to dig deep for this one, folks!)
  • Moses’ mentor was God, and Batman’s mentor was Morgan Freeman, who is universally acknowledged as the voice of God.
  • Both men have been known to solve their problems by hitting things when a perfectly rational, nonviolent solution would seem preferable to most well-adjusted people.
  • Moses parted the Red Sea, while Batman started the DC!

Furthermore, Moses–by his own admission in the biblical account–had poor and unintelligible speech patterns. Similarly, Bale’s Batman spoke as if he had throat cancer, and Kilmer has actually developed throat cancer in real life! Will the similarities never end?

As scholars continue to examine the striking parallels, director Matt Reeves has announced his newest project: The Moses, a gritty Gods and Kings reboot starring Robert Pattinson.

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