WASHINGTON, DC – A major feature of the DC Comics brand is its widespread of the phrase “World’s Finest” to describe itself and its star duo of Batman and Superman. In a stunning move, the Supreme Court released a ruling today stating that DC Comics is banned from using this phrase ever again.
This move attracted significant criticism from Constitutional Law experts, as DC Comics had not been sued over its use of the phrase “World’s Finest,” nor had the Court heard any arguments. For the first time ever, the Court seems to have made this decision sua sponte, or on its own initiative. Writing in a unanimous opinion, Chief Justice John Roberts acknowledged the Court’s move was unprecedented but added, “There are times when something is so blatant and so monstrous that the Court must act.”
The court’s reasoning also took Constitutional Law experts by surprise. “The Supreme Court normally does not limit a business’s right to describe itself however it wants,” attorney Harvey Birdman told Marvelous Movies. “Usually, that is protected as free speech.” Chief Justice Roberts seemingly anticipated such criticisms in his opinion, stating, “There are three kinds of lies in this world: lies, damned lies, and the notion that DC Comics is good, much less ‘The World’s Finest.’ In this country, the first two kinds of lies are allowed. The last is not. We must protect our children from such blatant misrepresentations.”
DC Comics declined to answer any reporter questions, but released a statement declaring its intention to fight what it described as an “unlawful decision.” “We live in a nation of laws,” the statement said in conclusion, “for a judge, much less nine of them, to act outside of the law in such a blatant fashion rises to the level of judicial vigilantism. We deplore this state of affairs and denounce vigilantism in all its forms.”