Rioters Tear Down Iron Man Statue after Watching Civil War

Photo: User Chris Favero on Flickr Creative Commons.

CHARLESTON, WV–Rioters on Monday surrounded a local comic book shop and violently tore down a life-sized replica of the Marvel hero Iron Man that had been displayed in the shop window. Sources say that the rioters had just re-watched the 2016 film Captain America: Civil War and considered the statue a monument to injustice.

“Tony Stark turned traitor, imprisoned his friends, and became a symbol of unjust government oppression,” said Roger Stephens, 28, who participated in the riot. “He was also a womanizer and a greedy, capitalistic warmonger. It’s time for comics shops to stop glorifying him and profiting off of his bloody legacy.”

“That mustache of Tony’s was also a crime,” Stephens added, “and it’s time for him to pay.”

“I think the kids are overreacting,” commented shop owner Robert Bloom. “Tony Stark was a hero who sacrificed his life to save the universe from Thanos. Sure, he may have had some flaws, but lots of characters do. Trying to erase a symbol of him is like trying to erase a crucial piece of comics history.”

“Plus, do you have any idea how much I paid for that thing at Comic Con? Those kids owe me a new one.”

At publishing time, the rioters were also tearing down a cardboard cutout of Captain America after recalling that he had once said “Hail Hydra,” as well as a small bust of Green Lantern for reasons that should be obvious.

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