Gasoline Shortage Proves Thanos Was Right

Image: Marvel Studios

OPINION – The recent gasoline shortage in the southeastern United States has led to rising fuel costs, lines at the pumps, and even fuel shortages. These problems have caused minor panic in the affected states, and many have even begun to stockpile and hoard fuel in anticipation of further shortages. This panic, following shortly upon the heels of the COVID-19 pandemic, has prompted many to weigh options considered controversial as recently as 2019. Specifically, the mad Titan’s Thanos plan to disappear half of all living beings. One time opponents of Thanos’s plan are now Marveling at their former Fury and are re-examining their position with a clearer Vision.

“The problem with the gasoline shortages is basic economics,” one senator proclaimed. “Too many people want too much of something. Obviously, the easiest answer is to get rid of half the population. Then, there’s more than enough gasoline to go around!”

One head of a super-secret spy agency disagreed. “That’s a stupid decision, and I’m electing to ignore it. I think the better idea would be to send a phone call into the deep reaches of space and hope someone comes to help us.”

The debate rages on. In the end, we can only hope this incident is a small Blip on the nation’s road to recovery.

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