NEW YORK–Marvelous Movies reporters have come across a startling truth! Controversial news publisher J. Jonah Jameson is actually Omni-Man, formerly known as one of the world’s greatest superheroes! Consider the following evidence:
- Omni-Man basically just looks like J. Jonah Jameson on steroids. You can’t tell us there are actually two different people who would willingly wear that mustache out in public!
- Additionally, both men act as gruff, somewhat antagonistic mentors/supporting characters to teenage superheroes! Coincidence? We think not!
- Speaking of superheroes, J. Jonah Jameson has been publishing anti-vigilante propaganda for years! Isn’t it possible that he hates vigilantes so much that he’d do something drastic–like murder the Guardians of the Globe?
- Really, the only thing that could make our case even more airtight would be if both characters were portrayed by the same actor! J.K. Simmons was unavailable for comment on the theory.
While this news may seem shocking, we at Marvelous Movies think it’s high time that the truth came out. And it seems only fair that, after all these years, someone starts publishing articles about how J. Jonah Jameson is a superpowered menace who must be stopped at all costs.
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