In Totally Unprecedented Crisis, DC Universes are Getting Snuffed Out One-by-One

Image: The CW

BURBANK, CA – Alarming reports have come out of Warner Bros. Studios and the CW, indicating Batwoman and Legends of Tomorrow have been extinguished with little notice and no credit claimed by any known villains.

A clearly traumatized Greg Berlanti stated this morning, “It was terrible! Millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Something terrible has happened! It’d take more than a thousand ships with more firepower than I could imagine!”

Lee Burr, a noted expert on comics, was clearly shaken.”This is a Crisis on multiple earths. I fear this could expand to many, many earths before everything snuffs out in a Flashpoint.”

Experts agree that in 99 out of 100 end-of-world scenarios, the villain(s) responsible always announce their intentions beforehand. In fact, the villainous monologue is one of the few things all supervillains hold in common. Thus, the villains behind the destruction of Batwoman and Legends of Tomorrow have failed in every villain convention. By some measures, they have actually done a good thing by putting Batwoman and its fans out of their collective miseries.

In response to this existential threat, the CW assembled a team of its greatest writers. Together, they suggested increasing the cheesy dialogue, shooting tired and unconvincing fight scenes, and adding more love interests for characters whose actors later leave the shows. All for naught.

We will continue to Monitor developments and report as we have new information.

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