Queen Mera Disgraced after Losing Court Case to Captain Jack Sparrow

Photos: Warner Bros. (left); Disney (right)

ATLANTIS–After a lengthy legal conflict, Queen Mera of Xebel has been found guilty of defamation against pirate captain Jack Sparrow and has been punished accordingly.

The disgraced queen’s punishment comes after a drawn-out conflict with Sparrow, who Mera met on the high seas and allegedly had a prolonged romance with. After a public falling out, Mera repeatedly defamed Sparrow’s character, resulting in a serious blow to his swashbuckling career. While many fans are thankful that they now don’t have to sit through Pirates of the Caribbean 6, backlash has been high against Mera for her comments against the beloved captain. Sparrow has insisted that he doesn’t deserve this treatment.

“People shipped us for a while there, but now that ship has fallen apart,” Sparrow explained in an interview. “It’s just the ghost of what it once was.”

On Thursday, a judge declared that Mera must pay Sparrow 15 million golden doubloons as recompense for her crimes. Mera has also been forcibly removed from her home of Atlantis and her future adventures with King Arthur Curry, a.k.a. Aquaman.

“Yeah, everyone in Atlantis wanted to get Mera pulled from my next movie,” Aquaman told Marvelous Movies. “They didn’t remove her entirely, but they’re saying her role has been heavily cut. In fact, it might even be a non-speaking part. That way she’ll be seen but not Heard.”

As the final part of her punishment, Mera must also swab the poop deck on Sparrow’s ship, The Black Pearl. It may sound like a crappy situation for her, but she’s made her bed, and now she’s got to lie in it.

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