Images: Warner Bros. Pictures, Summit Entertainment

THE YELLOW HILLS–Notorious mob hitman John Wick is reportedly in hiding, fearing for his life from Supergirl, a.k.a. Kara Zor-El. Eyewitnesses say they saw Wick step on Supergirl’s dog, Krypto, in the middle of a bar fight.

“It was all a bit chaotic,” admits Ruthye Marye Knoll, a humanoid girl who claims to have witnessed the whole event. “Supergirl and I were tracking down the scoundrels who murdered my noble father, when we saw him at a local tavern. Long, black hair, dressed in all black, and a glare as if he’d snap you in two right then and there just for looking at him.”

“And it wasn’t the fellow that looked like Aquaman joined KISS, either,” Knoll clarified. “No, this was someone else.”

“I was just in the middle of killing three bad guys at once with a pencil,” Wick himself told Marvelous Movies reporters from a lead-lined bunker in an undisclosed location. “Then I spun around to tackle this other guy, put my foot down, and accidentally stepped on this dog’s tail.” Wick fled from the premises immediately while an enraged Supergirl charged after him, her heat vision eradicating everything in her path.

“I totally get it,” Wick acknowledged. “I mean, just look what I did to the people who killed my dog. But still, that girl is terrifying. I’m keeping my distance!”

What makes this incident even more noteworthy is that Wick has encountered Krypto before, during their adventures with the DC League of Super-Pets. At the time, Wick (Keanu Reeves) was actually Batman. So, yes–Marvelous Movies can in fact confirm that even the Batman himself is rightly terrified of a Supergirl scorned!

“Don’t you mess with my dog, you @!#$&!” Kara could be heard shouting from across the Yellow Hills.