WESTVIEW, NEW JERSEY–It’s no secret that a growing number of Americans feel pessimistic about our political culture and dissatisfied with both major political options. Political scientists and commentators have long speculated about the factors that have brought us to this era of growing unrest and turmoil. However, researchers now believe they’ve uncovered the true cause: it was Agatha all along.

According to a recently published study, notorious witch Agatha Harkness of Westview, New Jersey is the one to blame. Harkness previously made headlines for manipulating Wanda Maximoff into mentally enslaving the entire town of Westview, also claiming responsibility for the death of local dog Sparky. Now, the data reveal that Harkness has also been “pulling every evil string” in politics since at least 2016, ensuring that the worst possible candidates are chosen to represent both major parties and that the conflict between both groups grows increasingly more erratic.

Political experts have divided views on the subject, with many expressing discouragement at the blatant manipulation. “It’s too late to fix anything, now that everything has gone wrong,” noted commentator Robert Lopez.

But others take a more hopeful perspective. “We know that Agatha used Wanda’s power to trap all of Westview in an alternate reality,” explained federal employee James Woo. “So hopefully this means that we’re all trapped in an alternate reality right now too. Once we wake up, I’m sure the 2024 of the real world will be much better than this one!”

Agatha is also believed to be responsible for a host of other social ills, including but not limited to:

• Elon Musk ruining Twitter.
• Madame Web.
• AI taking over the world.
• The Holocaust.
• The fact that someone out there is playing Christmas music already.
• Your last relationship not working out.
• Rush hour traffic on I-95.
• Pineapple on pizza.
• You losing The Game.

Only time will tell witch direction things will go from here, but it looks like America will continue to be Hahn-ted by Harkness for some time to come.