
GLASGOW, SCOTLAND–Wanda Maximoff, a.k.a. the Scarlet Witch of the Avengers, has recently come under fire for alleged witchcraft, making her the latest in a long line of supposed witches throughout history to come under fire.
Maximoff first appeared on the superhero scene in 2015, when she and her late brother Pietro gained superhuman abilities through being experimented on by Hydra scientists. Since then, she has been witnessed performing a number of apparently supernatural feats, including creating forcefields and shooting lasers. Although Ms. Maximoff has never been seen doing traditional witch-like activities, such as casting actual curses on people, riding a broomstick, or dancing, many are concerned about the apparently otherworldly nature of her powers. Strangely, though, no similar complaints have arisen about the superhuman abilities of any of Ms. Maximoff’s teammates, as most of them clearly come from science and not magic, an essential and clearly tangible distinction.

At publishing time, an angry mob of townspeople had broken out in the United Kingdom, seeking to burn Ms. Maximoff with torches. “She’s a witch!” one mob leader shouted. “And what do we do with witches?” The rest of the crowd angrily called back, “Burn them!” One man also claimed that Ms. Maximoff had turned him into a newt, though sources indicate that he seemed to have made a full recovery from this alleged condition.
Despite an initial threat of violence, however, the mob was eventually able to be talked down and persuaded to first verify whether or not Ms. Maximoff is a witch by determining if she weighs the same as a duck. Howard the Duck was unavailable for comment or for comparative weighing.
Although there seems to be a lot at stake for her, with many people unable to see past her scarlet letter, Ms. Maximoff is steadily enduring this crucible. Her only comment on the allegations was, “I can’t control their fear, only my own.” Other sources have responded to the allegations, however, calling them overblown and concluding that the extremist anti-witch movement, much like Ms. Maximoff herself as of last year, lacks vision.