Marvel Movies to Be Re-Released with Cap Saying “Language!” at Key Points
True to form, Captain America used his time-travel journey in Endgame to censor every curse word spoken in the history of the Marvel universe.
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Oscar Isaac to Play All Egypt-Related Characters
“You start by playing one Egyptian role, and then they just rope you into doing all the rest. It’s like some kind of a pyramid scheme!”
Read moreRun Time for The Eternals Cut
Director Chloé Zhao wants a movie that feels like an Eternity and leads directly into Madness.
Read moreCDC Recommends Keeping Distance from DC Films, Even Once Fully Vaccinated
Experts advise that coming into contact with DC films may result in, or more likely from, a severe loss of taste.
Read moreCDC Quietly Revives Superhuman Registration Act
In a surprise announcement last week, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has reversed its position on masked superhumans.
Read morePoll: Majority of Star Wars Fans Actually Hate Star Wars
“A true Star Wars fan shows their loyalty by complaining about every new movie that comes out, trash-talking the creators, and bullying the actors on social media.”
Read moreGasoline Shortage Proves Thanos Was Right
Too many people want too much gasoline. If we get rid of half the people, we solve the problem.
Read moreCOVID-19 Vaccine Revealed to Cause Mutant X-Gene
Recipients of the vaccine may begin demonstrating unnatural characteristics such as laser eyes, blue fur, or a tendency to believe in science.
Read moreWorld Struggles to Adapt to a Short-Term Future without New MCU Shows
The last two years have seen the world ravaged by disaster after disaster. And now we have a month with no new Marvel shows!
Read moreWho Is Shang-Chi, and What Are the Ten Rings? Comics Explained
His superhero name really was “Master of Kung-Fu.” No wonder they’re just calling the movie Shang-Chi!
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