Photo: Marvel Studios
New York, NY – Earth’s current Sorcerer Supreme, Stephen Strange, has been facing calls from the Magical Congress of the United States of America (MACUSA) to step down due to what many in the governing wizard body have described as a lack of credentials to serve in his current position.
Dr. Strange burst onto the wizarding scene in late 2016 after defeating the Lovecraftian, demonic entity Dormammu. Reporters with Marvelous Movies recently dug into Dr. Strange’s past, focusing on his education and work experience. Needless to say, we were shocked by what we found:
- Dr. Strange never received a letter from any of the wizarding schools: Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, Durmstrang, or Ilvermony;
- He never visited a wand shop to select a wand;
- He never played Quidditch in any competitive capacity, nor have we been able to confirm whether he has ever played Quidditch;
- He has never been seen enjoying a cold brew of butterbeer;
- He has not read anything by Beedle the Bard;
- He has not been featured on a chocolate frogs trading card; and
- Most telling of all, he has never had his life saved by Hermione Granger-Weasley.
Reactions from the wizarding world have been mixed. Some have expressed concerns that a wizard not properly trained at one of the accredited schools of wizardry has ascended to such an important position, while others are delighted that someone who did not go through the shockingly dangerous ordeal of wizard school has shown that it is possible to achieve greatness without a degree in wizardry.
Compounding his woes, our sources also tell us that the Aurors have opened an investigation into Dr. Strange. It seems that in his confrontation with the demon Dormammu, Dr. Strange used the mystical Eye of Agamotto to tamper with the time stream. A deus ex machina of that level is unconscionable and no true wizard would engage in that sort of nonsense.