Fauci Says Suing Disney Not Recommended Right Now

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—The doctor is in, but his diagnosis is not going to sit well with Marvel fans. Dr. Anthony S. Fauci said Black Widow star Scarlett Johansson should drop her lawsuit against Disney immediately for the sake of the moviegoing public.

“Litigation of this magnitude is irresponsible, no matter how many masks you wear. Scarlett’s reckless desire to have Disney make good on its promises will spread faster than Delta. It will infect other actors, who already have compromised ethics, and fill them with so much greed that they may have to shut down the entire TV and film industry. Black Widow could be the kiss of death for millions of jobs if she continues down this path, not to mention how many fans could be at risk if they pack movie houses for the sake of lining her already stuffed pockets,” said Fauci. 

Via Twitter DM with Faking Fandom

His comments echo those of the Centers for Disney Coercion and Punishment (CDC), who also warned of the high cost of challenging any Disney contract.

Johannson performed her own stunts for Black Widow’s epic second week drop in box office revenue.
Image: Marvel Studios

Marvel fans have already come to the actor’s defense, however, with conspiracy theories of their own. One of the most popular is a belief that Fauci has been paid by Disney to prevent further litigation from its marquee talent.

An actual in universe photo of Dr. Fauci with the rest of Palpatine’s advisors.

Someone even pointed out that the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases had a previous life as an actor. According to Twitter sleuths, Fauci appeared in Return of the Jedi as one of Palpatine’s advisors and later in Warren Beatty’s 1990 Dick Tracy film as a low-level hoodlum working for Alphonse “Big Boy” Caprice. Fauci critics believe he has always wanted to be in the spotlight, and when his film career failed to take off, he went into science, but has continued to be a terrible actor.

We reached out to ScarJo for a comment and maybe a rhyming Happy Birthday shoutout. But sadly, she is not on Cameo just yet.

Originally posted on Faking Star Wars.

-William “Willybobo” Bobo

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