BURBANK, CA–Following concerns about the alleged amount of violence in the upcoming film The Batman, Warner Bros. Studios has announced it will be releasing a family-friendly cut of the film. True to the time-tested character and spirit of Batman, this version will replace onscreen punches and other forms of violence with colorful word balloons saying “POW!”, “OOF!,” and other onomatopoeic sound effects.
“Parents are concerned, and they want more than just a PG-13 rating,” commented director Matt Reeves. “The theme song and the word balloons should show them that we’re serious about including the kids. This was the one thing missing from some previous versions of Batman, like The Dark Knight.”
“It certainly is an innovative idea,” agreed fellow filmmaker Zack Snyder. “Who would have ever thought of putting bright colors in a DC film?!?”
Alongside Robert Pattinson as Batman, Taylor Lautner has been cast as Robin. His dialogue will consist primarily of phrases like, “Holy smokes, Batman!”
Both the unedited and family-friendly versions of The Batman will release simultaneously in theaters this March.