BURBANK, CA – In a savvy business move, DC Comics has announced that it will again rip off an idea of a Marvel-related company.
Ann Sarnoff, the CEO of DC’s parent company, Warner Bros. Entertainment, noted in a speech to investors that the success of Disney’s live action remakes of animated classics represents an industry game-changer. “They are making money hand-over-fist,” she said approvingly. “Of course, we realized that two can play at that game and we have plenty of movies that we could make better without much effort.”
She continued, “We think it’s time to take a page out of Disney’s playbook and remake the DCEU into movies that are actually good this time around.” When asked for particulars, she shrugged and said that the plan was to throw the movies into a Lazarus Pit.
Our sources at DC Entertainment have informed us that some of the movies in consideration for remakes would include Batman vs. Superman, but would instead focus on a fight between Aquaman and Wonder Woman; Suicide Squad, featuring the entire cast of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” reuniting with star Will Smith; “Justice League,” which will include actual character development and more Alfred Pennyworth; and Man of Steel, which will star Jim Parsons as a super-powered Sheldon Cooper.
The editorial staff here at Marvelous Movies are of the unanimous opinion that all these suggestions so far will easily prove to be far superior to the originals.