Photos: LucasFilm and Disney Studios
BURBANK, CA – In a move sure to set the internet aflame, Disney CEO Bob Iger has announced that the first crossover between the Star Wars and the X-Men franchises has been green-lit for an expected 2020 release. The new film will be called Age of A-Poe-Calypse.
Lucasfilm and Marvel Studios are keeping the details of the film under wraps, but our sources have confirmed that ace pilot Poe Dameron will implement important lessons about teamwork, creating distrust between superiors and subordinates, and blindly following an authoritarian figure that he learned in Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
“He is going to arrive on earth with the ability to absorb mutant powers,” our anonymous source explained. “Then, he will impose his control over earth in order to defeat the First Order by any means necessary, just like his mentor Admiral Holdo would have done.”
“A-Poe-Calypse will be the star of the new movie,” Disney CEO Bob Iger confirmed. “In fact, his proficiency with the old Jedi mind trick will allow him to talk intelligent, independent, and strong-minded characters into blindly following his lead in just a sentence or two. We don’t even have to write compelling dialogue or give them valid reasons for joining A-Poe-Calypse’s crusade. They’ll just blindly follow him. We could not have done anything like that in the X-Men franchise without mind control.”
Marvel Studios and LucasFilm are expected to use recycled footage from prior X-Men and Star Wars films and edit them together into a new movie without engaging in any new filming. Honestly, we applaud both studios for putting more work and effort into this new film than in their last few movies in these franchises.