BURBANK, CA–In an unparalleled move, Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige has officially seized the title of All-Powerful Overlord-for-Life of Marvel Entertainment, now overseeing Marvel’s comics and television divisions in addition to the immensely successful Marvel Cinematic Universe films.
“I don’t see how this could have happened so fast,” said C.B. Cebulski, Editor-in-Chief of Marvel Comics. “But Feige is far too powerful already. He needs to be stopped at all costs.”
“Feige already controls three of the Infinity Product Lines–movies, shows, and comics,” added Jeph Loeb, Executive Vice President of Marvel Television. “If he acquires Marvel’s games, toys, and other merchandising lines as well, then he’ll be nigh unstoppable.” At publishing time, Loeb, Cebulski, and other high-ranking Marvel executives were putting together a team willing to do “whatever it takes” to defeat Feige.
“Fun is not something one considers when running a massive entertainment franchise,” Feige commented while wielding an oversized golden gauntlet and somehow trying to fit a Marvel comic book and a Blu-ray disc of a Marvel movie onto it. “Well, actually, I guess it kind of is. But, either way, this does bring a smile to my face.”
When asked if he had any major plans for the direction of the Marvel comics moving forward, Feige simply answered, “Continuity is often disappointing. That is, it was. Now, continuity can be whatever I want.”
Now that he controls Marvel Entertainment and is also helming a new Star Wars film, Feige has announced his intention to seize total control of all of Disney’s entertainment properties and subsidiaries as well. “Then,” he said, “I can finally rest, and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe.”