NEW YORK, NY–A leading New York newspaper has identified the source of the corona virus: New York’s favorite web-slinger, Spider-Man.
The newspaper’s chief editor noted, “We have never experienced an outbreak of the corona virus until now. The only difference between then and now is that public menace Spider-Man!
The editorial went on to argue, “The experts think that a bat gave a human the corona virus. But bats and spiders are both creepy, and Spider-Man is obviously covered in spider germs from all his time hanging out with spiders. The scientists probably just got confused, because Spider-Man is clearly responsible!”
Spider-Man has made no public statement on these allegations, and the Center for Disease Control (CDC) declined to take a position on Spider-Man’s role in the outbreak of the virus. It did, however, issue a strong recommendation against traveling into the multiverse for the duration of this crisis.