Photo: Lucasfilm

CORUSCANT–Amid delays in vote-counting and rampant rumors of voter fraud, official investigations have uncovered a massive conspiracy tracing up to the highest levels of government. Senator Sheev Palpatine of Naboo, a.k.a. Darth Sidious, has been intentionally inciting conflict between Democrats and Republicans while manipulating both sides from behind the scenes for his own political gain.

Sources close to the investigation now believe that Palpatine intentionally manipulated socioeconomic conditions to weaken our republic and played up existing conflicts between the two major political parties, hoping to position himself as a strong leader who could heal the divided nation through authoritarian rule. Despite Joe Biden pulling ahead in the electoral race, Palpatine is expected to seize emergency powers, abolish the U.S. government as we know it, and declare himself emperor at the time of Biden’s acceptance speech.

This news comes on the heels of revelations that Count Dooku was involved in a conspiracy to sabotage the vote-counting process and incite civil war in the republic. President Trump tweeted to “stop the Count!” last week in response to Dooku’s actions.

Trump has publicly voiced his support for Palpatine, praising the Emperor-elect’s use of divisive and vilifying rhetoric, as well as his complete overstepping of all legal and governmental boundaries to establish totalitarian rule.

At an emergency Senate session held on Friday, Vice President Pence asserted that Palpatine could not seize such absolute powers without majority support from both the House and the Senate. Palpatine answered this challenge by merely stating, “I am the Senate.”

Palpatine’s victory speech this week is expected to be met with thunderous applause.