GEONOSIS–Recent investigations into vote-counting delays have uncovered a startling revelation. Former Jedi Master Count Dooku, also known as Darth Tyranus, has been involved in a conspiracy to rig this year’s election, sow division, and seize power. In light of this news, President Trump’s calls via Twitter to “stop the Count!” have suddenly become much clearer and more meaningful.
According to sources close to the investigation, Dooku was likely deployed by an unknown political figure to stir up further controversy between Democrats and Republicans and incite a civil war in the republic. “Twice the pride, double the fall!” Dooku was heard saying of America as eyewitnesses saw him departing from a vote-counting center.
“He’s too dangerous to be left alive,” Trump elaborated in further comments about Dooku while dispatching law-enforcement officials to apprehend him. “Kill him now. Do it.”
Fringe allegations about a covert plot to manipulate opposing parties against each other for political gain have been flatly denied by high-ranking government officials. “No, it is you who are mistaken about a great many things,” Marvelous Movies was told in an interview.