SAN FRANCISCO–Following the recent rebranding of Twitter as X, Elon Musk is making significant changes to his company and business leadership. Perhaps most significantly, the X-centric Musk made the X-citing announcement last week that X Corp. and its employees would hereby be known as the X-Men.

Now that Twitter employees have become the X-Men, here are some things we can X-pect to see:

• Musk becoming a crippled, morally questionable mentor. Sources say they recently saw Musk in a wheelchair–perhaps as a result of his fight with Mark Zuckerberg–and that he’d shaved himself bald. Jeff Bezos has even sued for Musk stealing his look. Is he being a little X-tra?
• One breakout star being in everything and stealing the entire show… At publishing time, new X Corp. CEO Linda Yaccarino was seen growling fiercely and brandishing metallic claws.
• …and a stuck-up prig who nobody likes. Some suggested Musk for this role too, but he was already Professor X. At this time, it’s unclear who will step up to be the X Corp’s version of Cyclops, but it’ll most likely be someone with a singular vision.
• Magneto. If Musk is Xavier now, then Mark Zuckerberg would be his Magneto! (Wait–are we allowed to say that, since he’s Jewish?)
• The death and return of the bird logo. Nothing stays dead in the X-Men’s world–especially not nebulous bird shapes. We have no doubt the bird logo will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes to live again. And again. And again.
• Space adventures. With Musk’s company SpaceX in the business of X-ploring our galaxy, X Corp seems bound to run into X-traterrestrial groups such as the Kree, the Brood, and the Starjammers!
• Totally messed up continuity. Between prequels, flashbacks, retcons, and time travel, the X-Men movie continuity is X-tremely confusing and contradictory! (And that’s not even counting the comics!) Will all of the changes to Twitter–er, X–follow this same path too?
• The company becoming obsolete and forgettable before being acquired by someone else. The last two X-Men movies before Disney acquired Fox were Dark Phoenix and New Mutants. How long until the X Corp. X-pires too?
• Jonathan Hickman suing the company for copyright infringement. If you haven’t yet read his runs on House of X, Powers of X, and Dawn of X, then you need to seriously X-amine your life choices!

After X-amining the data, our X-perts have X-trapolated some X-cellent research about where the company seems to be headed next. X-Corp’s X-cessive business practices make it unlikely that the public will X-onerate them anytime soon. While it’s hard to be X-actly sure, it looks like they’re going to X-plode!