Image: Marvel Studios
John Walker’s recent appointment as Captain America has been controversial. In fact, most people would prefer to catch COVID than for him to continue wielding the shield. Polls even show 100% of Americans who are not Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russel, Kate Hudson, or Oliver Hudson hate actor Wyatt Russell for portraying John Walker. However, this rush to judgment might be premature. In fact, John Walker is every bit the Captain America we Americans deserve right now. Consider the following:
- He savagely kills an unresisting criminal. Bonus points: he kills the unresisting criminal on camera in front of a crowd and only loses his job for it.
- He has a strange admiration for Julia Louise-Dreyfus. This is literally as American as it gets. Love her, hate her, laugh at her–you have to admire her charismatic strangeness.
- He believes Americans have jurisdiction everywhere and Africans have jurisdiction nowhere. He also believes every fight between people of different foreign nations would be improved by his intervention. When his bumbling made things worse, he blamed the Wakandans.
- He is a terrible choice for the job. Just like most of our elected leaders.
- He can’t admit wrongdoing. And he’s loudly angry about it!
- He hates Congress now. His only failing when it comes to representing Americans is that he did not immediately start a brawl in his hearing.