BURBANK, CA–A startling discovery was made this morning by Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige, according to our sources within Marvel’s offices. While reviewing the list of upcoming 2020 Marvel film releases, Feige discovered that a film called New Mutants was scheduled for late August.
“I was just looking at the calendar again, counting down the days to Black Widow,” Feige explained. “But I happened to notice that it wasn’t the first release listed of the year. Something called New Mutants is coming out months earlier! Why hadn’t I heard anything about this?”
“You really think there should have been, like, a trailer, or some kind of marketing campaign by now,” Feige continued. “I mean, we’re less than a month out. Who’s in charge of that, anyway? Oh, wait, I guess it’s me.”
“And who even are the New Mutants, anyway–just, like, the C-list X-Men?” Feige asked. “As if the X-Men franchise is still even relevant anymore. I saw how bad Dark Phoenix was. Thought that was why we bought out Fox in the first place.”
“This is honestly a little embarrassing,” Feige admitted. “I wish we were better prepared. Maybe we can just push the release date back a time or two to give us more time for better marketing. That usually solves everything for the X-Men movies.”
New Mutants premieres in theaters on August 28th. Probably. Unless they finally decide to just make it a direct-to-DisneyPlus release after all. That might just be their best bet at this point. Honestly, who knows anymore?