WASHINGTON, D.C.–In a landmark ruling on a case brought by the superhero She-Hulk, the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that all superheroes must now list their preferred pronouns at the beginnings of their names, or else face prosecution. “It’s a way for us to discourage gender discrimination and promote equitable treatment for all,” commented Jennifer Walters, the lead attorney on the case.
The ruling has met with mixed reaction from the superhero community. “I mean, I already have ‘Man’ in my name,” said He-Spider-Man. “A lot of us do. Isn’t that clear enough?”
“It’s a magnificent idea!” declared He-Thor. “Especially if there’s ever a Lady Thor who shows up somehow in an upcoming movie. Wouldn’t want anyone to get us confused!”
Other superheroes have also experienced confusion over opposite-gender counterparts with similar names. “This is a great way to be inclusive for everyone,” said She-Captain Marvel, “and to keep me separate from all those other guys.” He-Hawkeye and She-Hawkeye both voiced agreement, along with He-Loki and She-Loki.
“So does this mean I was just ‘Man’ before?” asked He-Man. “Or do I have to change it to He-He-Man now? Hee-hee–that would be funny.”
“I just see this mandate causing more confusion in the realms than ever before,” said He-Imdall of Asgard.
She-Hulk premieres on DisneyPlus in 2022.
Absolute Rubbish,Pls leave their names alone. We keep making eachother confused everyday.