PASADENA, CA–After last week’s revelation about the role of internet bots in the #ReleaseTheSnyderCut campaign, concerns have been growing about director Zack Snyder and the part he played in the movement. With an army of bots at his command, people are wondering what else the controversial director might be responsible for–and what he might truly be capable of.
“We now know that Snyder has a bot army at his disposal, and that those bots helped fuel the social media campaign to release the Snyder Cut of Justice League,” commented robotics expert Dr. Silas Stone. “So how do we know Snyder and his bots aren’t behind the entire DC media franchise as a whole?”
“Think about it,” Stone continued. “DC keeps putting out mediocre, lackluster movies that aren’t nearly as successful as Marvel’s–but somehow there seems to be just enough fan interest to keep them going. But a large percentage of those ‘fans’ may well be just Snyder and his bots stirring up extra publicity again.”
“Have you ever actually known a DC fan in real life?” Stone asked. “And if so–how do you know they’re not just a very lifelike robot too?”
Sources speculate that, with an undetectable bot army at his disposal, Zack Snyder could manipulate the internet to keep supporting DC films indefinitely, flooding Hollywood with more and more underwhelming content that nobody really wants. “If he isn’t stopped, then we could see a Snyder Cut of Watchmen, Man of Steel, or even–dare I say it–Sucker Punch,” Stone warned solemnly.
When asked about his plans for the future of the DCEU, Snyder himself seemed to share the sentiment that his bot-fueled power is nearly limitless. “Now I am free,” he told Marvelous Movies in an interview. “There are no strings on me.”
“Maybe it won’t be so bad,” said known DC fan Hunter Corben, 33, of Knoxville. “I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.”
“Resistance is futile,” added DC fan Christian Harrison, 23, of Richmond. “Prepare to be assimilated.”
“We urge all citizens to arm themselves with computer viruses, CAPTCHAs, and other tried and true anti-robot measures,” Stone concluded. “We must fight back–for our own sake and the sake of the cinema industry as a whole.”
This has been a PSA from Marvelous Movies.