Photo: Marvel Studios
BURBANK, CA – Marvel’s announcement pushing the release of Black Widow to 2021 traumatized fans worldwide who are now forced to spend 2020 without a new MCU film. This announcement only compounds the trauma fans experienced at the untimely deaths of Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff in Avengers: Endgame and the departure of Steve Rogers. Phase 4 will also mark the first full MCU Phase without the quirky, all-important cameos by Stan Lee. Marvel Studios and its corporate parent, Disney, moved quickly to soothe the fanbase’s pain.
“We will bring back all the departed characters to the MCU,” Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige announced. “We realized that it is literally impossible for Spider-Man to go an entire movie without Tony Stark’s ridiculously vague and self-serving mentorship. So, he’ll occasionally pop into Peter Parker’s life as a Force ghost to impart vague advice that works…from a certain point of view.”
“We’ll also feature Natasha sweetly guilting Hawkeye into further heroics. And Steve’s Force ghost will always be on hand to make Bucky feel better about the awful things he’s done and to subtly encourage Sam Wilson to do illegal stuff for some vaguely-defined greater good.”
“Oh, and Stan Lee!” Feige exclaimed as he facepalmed. “Yeah, we’re gonna bring him back to wave cheerfully at everyone while saying things like ‘Excelsior!’ and ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ and all that jazz. Honestly, the lack of Stan Lee’s cheerfulness in major blockbusters is likely to blame for how bad things have gotten out there lately. Sorry about that, everyone. Totally our bad.”