BURBANK, CA – DC Studios, headed now by long-time Marvel contributor James Gunn, has released a shortlist of actors to play Superman in Gunn’s upcoming reboot. The move took franchise fans by surprise, as it’s the first sign in years that Hollywood has heard of leading male actors other than Chris Pratt.
1. Chris Pratt
Chris Pratt is the Lord of all leading male Stars. He’s in everything. In fact, he’s in so many movies that it’s possible he’s using super speed to transition quickly between film sets. Also, we all know his preference for goofy, klutzy leads is completely on brand for the changes DC seems to be making to the DCEU.
Image: Marvel Studios
2. Sherlock Holmes
Honestly, the reasons for Holmes’s inclusion are rather…elementary. But DC certainly doesn’t have the World’s Greatest Detective or anything, so he could fill that role. And he could have the Watson computer to aid him, because the DC universe doesn’t have any super-powerful computers already.
Bizarro is just included so Warner Bros. can explicitly show us what they think of Superman, DC, and DC fans. Reports have even reached us here at Marvelous Movies that studio execs slapped a sign onto Bizarro’s back reading “Zack Snyder” while everyone pointed and laughed.
Image: Warner Brothers Studios
4. Ben Reilly
This is the storyline comic book companies go with when they are all out of ideas and need to shake up the status quo. We all knew this day would come eventually. Begun, the Clone Wars have.
Image: Marvel Comics
5. Geralt of Rivia
Warner Bros. have apparently been bewitched by this legendary warrior. Plus, he has been released from service by Netflix and is ready and waiting to take on the role. The only problem? He’s on record as being a fan of the Snyder Cut.
We all know they’re going to cast Chris Pratt. The rest of the list is just pandering to fans. But we wanted to include a few other suggestions!
- Tom Welling. Seriously. Has anyone else noticed things used to be great? Have things been great since Smallville ended and Tom hung up the cape?
- The Iron Giant. This dude CHOSE to be Superman. Superman did not choose to be himself. The ’90s nostalgia is calling, my friends. It’s time we answered the call.
- The Skrull Playing Nick Fury. That guy can play anybody. Plus, it’s time that Mace Windu/Fury entered the DC Universe.
- Tyler Hoechlin. He’s the best thing going in the DC universe right now. Let’s mainstream it.
- Jack Black. He’s already had a great audition!
Image: Warner Bro. Studios